Lizzie’s Anniversaries

Year 6 – January 2010 – Age 22

It’s been a bit of a scary week really as both Monday and Tuesday I ended up crying myself to sleep in the evening. I haven’t done that in a long time and it’s taken me by surprise. Where does all the water come from!?

Wednesday I woke up early crying again and realized that I wasn’t going to make it into school. I feel bad for not going in, but I wouldn’t have been up to much if I did. I feel bad too because I made it in to school on this day last year and I don’t want to feel like I’m getting worse or anything. I think it’s just because I have a lot going on anyway at the moment. Also I’m at a stage in life where I’m really missing having some motherly guidance that I need. I still wish we’d been able to experience a change in our relationship from a parent/child to a more friend mother/friend daughter one. I miss all the would have beens more than I have done before too. Though having said all that, none of the above is really anything new I suppose.

As I’m trying to break the habit of dealing with everything alone and shutting everyone out, I made use of the ridiculously early hour by calling family and friends back home. It was really good to talk with everyone, though it was a little funny talking with my sister as it wasn’t the day of the anniversary for her yet, still being Tuesday night in the UK.

Later in the day I did a lot of lazing around. I took a walk in a local park that I’ve never been in before. It was a really nice and warm sunny day which helped cheer my spirits.

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In the evening when the time differences worked out again, I made some more calls home and then it was time for bed. Another day over. Another year gone by. Another anniversary. Everything goes so fast doesn’t it?

One thought on “Lizzie’s Anniversaries

  1. Pingback: Episode 3 – Anniversaries & Watching Movies – Surviving Their Suicide

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